Don’t be a Guilty Mom

It was a  usual morning I was getting ready for office and was a school holiday for my little one. She was watching me getting ready for office. She was playing with her toys and all of a sudden started this conversation

Kiddo: - Why do you go to the office

Mom:- Because I work there.

Kiddo: - But Why?

Mom: - O.K you go to school for studying, I need to go to the office for work

Kiddo: - But Ankita’s Mom does not go to the office. Don't you think you should also stay at home instead of going to the office?

Mom (Puzzled and thinking):- Hmm O.K So tell me other day Ankita wanted to play dollhouse and you wanted to play  doctor - doctor  Isn't it

Kiddo:- Yes Because she likes to play with the dollhouse and I like to pretend plays like doctor doctor

Mom: Hmm the same way her mom prefers to stay at home whereas I like to go to the office

Kiddo:- Hmm so you don't like staying at home with me

Mom (Confused):- It's not like that baby.  I like staying at home and playing with you. But also like working in the office. But I love you the most Isn't it.

So tell me when you grow up what do you want to become

Kiddo:- Doctor

Mom (Smiling):- Hmm but Doctors needs to go to the hospital and can't stay at home. So you can't take your baby with you to hospital.

Kiddo:- Hmm but Mumma by the time I grow up and have a kid you will be retired. So you can take care of them.

Mom (laughing): Yes dear I will do that J

The conversation ended but the guilt has it vanished.  From the time I joined back after my maternity leave leaving my angel at home, I used to feel guilty for leaving her at home. According to a survey, about 4 in 10 working moms feel guilty that they don’t spend enough time with their kids. Working or non-working mom's first priority is always kids.

The greatest reward which mom gets is in the form of love, hugs, cuddles, kisses of your kids. I don't need anyone's certificate or approval to say that whether I am a good or bad mom. The only person whose opinion matters is my little one. She understands that her mom is a working mom but also a normal mom who loves her, cares for her and can do anything for her.

All the mothers need to understand that they are not doing anything wrong. It's important to have a good work-life balance. We should not be harsh on ourselves.  A mother can give more love and affection to the child if she is emotionally strong. The findings of a 1999 study at the University of Massachusets reveal that a mother’s work outside the home doesn’t negatively affect the children.

This is for all the working moms and stays at homes who are constantly being judged for their parenting skills or motherhood. This is for all the mommies who have struggled and debated on the topic "Stay at home mom v/s working moms".In my opinion, both are to be treated fairly because it's not easy being a mom. Raising a life is not easy. Whether Stay at home or working mom both have to go through struggles of motherhood. A mom is a mom we should not categorize them.

Mommies, please Don’t be ever guilty. Yes, you were in the kitchen when your little one fell down. It was not your fault. It was you who consoled the crying child nobody else. Yes, you were in office giving a client presentation when she had won her first medal on sports day. It's not your fault for not being there It was you who made the day special for her by celebrating after coming back. Being a mother is not easy ( I realized once I became one and started to understand my mother more ).  We do mistakes but we do learn from those mistakes.  Moms are not perfect because they too are human beings.

If ever you feel guilty next time just look at the eyes of our child “What do you see in it “. You will find only love and nothing else.

I have decided not to be guilty mom. I may be a crazy mom,  hyper mom, sometimes messy mom, Loving mom but no more a guilty mom.


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